My computer is mostly dead, and writing on my phone sucks. I have alot to share when I get my computational device operational. All in all I have made good progress and feel alot better. I have so kuch more work to do. But I feel like I am starting this marathon stronger. As soon [...]
“That’s My Secret”
It had been a decent few days, I had a good appointment with my therapist, Kitten and I were talking a lot and I felt lighter. It is amazing to feel the lift of the weight when you start talking and dealing with issues in a positive way, versus a negative one. But a rapid [...]
“This One Thing”
If I traded it all, just for one thing, wouldn't that be some thing. Discuss S.L.
Feeling Better
It has been a crazy few days schedule wise, which is why I haven't really had a chance to write. Nothing to crazy, just aot of this and that. Overall, I do feel better. I am sure there is a couple of reasons, but I also know it is the totality of things. For starters, [...]
Fighting Yourself
I never really understood the term "fighting yourself" or "fighting myself" before December 2018. That was when my life started to take so many turns, and I was so convinced I could handle it all, and not break. I was so sure, because I felt I HAD to handle it, I felt like I had [...]
Kitten Feels Guilty
I knew she had felt bad for what I was going through. I knew she felt bad ending our relationship, I also know she needed to for her. To protect her, to keep her from spiralling down and be able to use her strength to lift herself up. I guess, I didn't think she would [...]
46 and 2 – By Tool
Moving further into this process of fixing myself, my emotions and my confidence, I have been listening to alot of music. I know I have featured tool before, but this song seems really applicable as of late. The concept of 46 and 2 had been developed by Carl Jung and further expanded by Drunvalo Melchizedek. [...]
Bad submissive?
I don’t share others often, but this one hit home. The relationship of the author and her D is where I always saw Kitten and I in 20 years. It is so insightful.
She has a lost of great articles on D/s and being married to her D and more. I wish I found the articles before I lost my Kitten
I’ve never made a secret about the fact that I view myself as a dominant soul, submission is something I give to only one man.
Out in the world I would say that I was much more dominant than the Bear. I’m the one who takes things head on, charges ahead, tries to pave new roads in thinking and actions. That’s my forte, that’s where I feel most alive, most me. I don’t run around telling people I’m ‘dominant’ and telling them they need my help, it’s the opposite actually.
I lead by example, I lead by doing and taking care of business. I lead by being responsible and putting the needs of others ahead of my own wants. I lead by understanding the responsibility I am taking on when I give my word and I lead by never going back on that. To me that is the definition of…
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This Meme Keeping Me Honest….
It is funny how that line between avoid and control got blurred in my life. Even the last few days, I feel better and better about the controlling versus avoiding. Damn this hit Is it Perfect? Nope. Is it better? Do I have major strides to make still? Yes. But can I see it coming [...]
“I Love You Too”
I said goodnight to Kitten almost an hour earlier. She was tired and I was too. Actually, I was freezing, which is usually a sign that I am exhausted. But as I said goodnight, I told Kitten "Happy Valentines Day" and I finished that sentence with her given name. I have been trying to respect [...]
