I feel like that always. When she tells me she isn’t doing well, or having a bad stretch, I am ready. I want to be able to talk to her, listen to her, try to understand and maybe even help a little. She still fights it. She will tell me what’s wrong, and then when I push, she throws the wall up. I know it’s her way, especially now. She won’t let it down, and she will do it herself. But, if ever the chance arises, that she actually wants the help, or the ear. then she has it.
Maybe it’s how I say things. I know I seem to piss off the world with how I approach things. I have been more self aware. She is so quick to take what I say as a negative, no matter my intent. That is so obvious these days. Maybe it is because she still holds some fear and anger against letting me to far in, I can understand that too. But, I am still going to try, no one I know deserves it more than she does.
So, for now I will just put myself on stand by, but I will not give up.