Just 48 hours ago, Angel and I were having another conversation about emotions and feelings. We discussed our relationship again, where I went wrong and what I have learned. It was actually very positive and productive, and not at all contentious. Even spots that were hard, we were frank and discussed it probably better than [...]
Somedays I Don’t Wanna Think
Ever have one of those days where every task, even simple, seems hard. Or like every decision is a headache and for no real reason. Not even in an angry or sad day. Just one of those "I don't want to adult" days. Outside of some weird knee pain, it was a good day. A [...]
Worth Having
True words I was watching Scrubs today. I always enjoyed it, it made me laugh alot. This quote got me a little in a good way. Especially if you watch the exchange after Here. Nothing worth having is easy. I think most can agree. We often look for the simple answer, especially when we are [...]
It Is Still Right There
When I started writing this blog, as many may know, it was about my BDSM relationship with Angel. Since then, it has become a weird therapeutic rant page. The last 6 months have been some of the most stressful and emotional time that I have lived in my life. But, through it all, that now [...]
You Ever Hear a Song?
That song that sometimes says exactly what you feel? I have been feeling better and better, even still. Angel and I have been talking more normal, which has been amazing. Even this week, when she is crazy busy and we aren't talking alot, it is still more normal. She is going out of her way [...]
“Can I Come Into The Out Now?”
When Angel sent me this today, I didn't even think Angel meant this in regards how we interact when she sent that meme. I honestly thought it was a Covid-19 Meme about things not being open. Once Angel has her mind set on something, she usually doesn't relent on it until she feels it is [...]
Its good to hear her voice
Angel called today coming home from work. She sounded really good, and that made me happy. Light and up beat. It was also an amazing surprise, as I did not expect it. It made me super happy to hear her at all, nevermind hear her so upbeat and happy. Its the little things...the unexpected gifts, [...]
“I’m Glad You’re Doing OK”
Angel texted me again today, to check on me. I know she is worried, I know she is fully aware of how all of this hurts for me still. I know she cares enough to check on me. I guess, I am doing ok. I told her I was in so many words. But, it [...]
Unexpected Texts….
So, After this morning, and living in the land of lockdown stillm I knew I needed to get out of the house and spend some time thinking and greiving. So, I drove. for 8 or 9 hours. Halfway through Nevada, I turned around. I don't know where I was headed, I just wanted to listen [...]
And Then, She Was Gone…..
Hold dear to you whats most important. Don't ever lose yourself, or it will cost you the most important person, it will cost you your love. Angel told me today that she needs to go for a while, maybe forever if we are being honest. I have to now accept that as a reality. I [...]
