That may sound harsh, but hear me out. I have learned over the last year I can survive alone. I can make things work on my end. I can persevere, I can fight for myself. Now, ask me if I still wanter her.
Without question, the answer is yes. Yes, over and over again. I can not say yes enough. Especially now, when I see her battling depression, the same thing I fought when we fell apart. I want her more, in her darkest moments, I want her more. Why?
There is no answer, other than I want to help carry her load where I can. Where I can’t, I just want to be a sounding post. Something she can vent with, and unload her stress and worries. I want her. I want it to be easy for her. She know, I think, in her heart that I will never stray from her. No matter how little we talk. She knows I am right here, waiting for the words.
I guess I am like a vampire now. the former Love and Dom, I need to be invited in again. I get it, she needs ot make the smallest of pushes for me, and let me take my place with her. I will respect her distance until she does, talk everyday and be as positive as I can be from her. I am not her Dom, I can not tell her what to do or not do. But, I can be her best cheerleader and hope she wants it again. It is scary, I have no doubt. But I am here when she is ready, and I always will be. There is no one more amazing than my baby, There is no one more perfect than my Kitten. I will sit here and wait for either of them to call for me. I am her Lighthouse.