Sort of, I got myself a Brat. My last Sub was a bit of a brat too, but this one is a little more of a brat, I think, and I really enjoy it. She is beautiful, and sexy and so far very obedient, even in her own bratty way. There is no relationship attachment. We are friends, and she was in need of a Dom as much as I was in need of a Sub. We have toed around it for a little while. We found ourselves being intimate, even to scratch an itch, and the roles were leaking out a little bit here and there. She knows my history, and I know hers. So, it was always there when we were intimate, and so much so that she asked me to tone it down a little, because she wasn’t sure if it was ok for her. But, after a few days of her “poking” the wolf in me, and we discussed it and flirted with it heavily, she said she wanted to, needed to submit. I wanted her too, and needed her to as well. Even if only as a Dom/Sub as we agreed to try it , and not relationship attachment. We would try and keep our friendship just as that.
Oh, who is my sub (kind of)? Kitten. Yes, given our history we are trying to do a strict D/S relationship and maintain our friendship. We know that risk involved, we know that there are 100 possible outcomes. We talked about it a lot, and have agreed to try it. She was in need of a dom she could trust with her body, and I was in need of a sub who I could unleash my dominant side too. It happened suddenly, a few days ago we really started discussing and sharing BDSM stuff. More of just light hearted banter, at first. Kitten, always being the one to take steps, shared the first few. It was hard for me to break the seal, sort of speak. But she did, and the wolf was poked. She knew it too, and so did I.
We even had a few “what are we doing” conversations, talked about slowing down as we got intimate and the D/S side started to slide in. Knowing where we came from, and everything that happened with us. We know the life changes we both have made, and are still making. But, we kept going back to it. Our natural D/S state kept knocking on the door, and it grew louder and louder.
Kitten, was and is still scared. I can’t blame her, there is so much she is risking in this. I hurt her so much before, that I didn’t ever know if this was possible for her to open that side of herself back up. I wasn’t going to push, because in the past my pushing was wrong and insulting and hurtful. So, when she started to show a little bit of it, I wondered, but I didn’t run in and kick doors. I did when we were intimate, but not outside of it. I figured, if she was ready she would tell me. As the Wolf Pokes continued, more of my Dominant side, and more of her bratty submissive side rose to the surface, finally we had the conversation to try.
She was scared, and I was too. I did, and still will do, all I can to reassure her. To let her know that I am going to be the stern, playful and caring Dom I was and can be. That I will do all I can to fulfill her submissive needs, and be there when she needs. I will be playful, appreciative, but never fear putting her right when need be. I will make her sore, and heal the wounds. I will tease and play with her, bring her to the height of passion, and then give her the sweet release. I wil be the spot she can climb into and hide, respect the boundaries, but let her have that safe and quiet space she had with me before.
We have discussed everything that could go wrong. We are adults and we know the risk. I am honestly not even looking to see where this goes, as in I am happy with where it is. Very happy, I get more of my favorite person. I get her sexy, bratty, fun side more. I get to give her the feelings I used too and watch her explode and her head swim as I push her to the edge and beyond. I get to have my Kitten back, even if it isn’t like it was. There are some changes, there is no collar this time, as there is no relationship outside of our friendship and D/S. There are places I can not push, and I have to respect. We have an out clause if either of us need it. But we also have mutual respect, attraction and the ability to talk.
We have discussed it alot. She wants so bad to cross into submission as we go, she still has some hold ups, and I told her as long as she needs to get past those, I will be right here for her helping and respecting her space as she slides more into her role. A role we are both familiar with, but we as people have changed, as has the type of D/S role we are in now. We are taking it slow, though today was much more “normal”. Kitten set me up for an all day tease, like a good brat. Blowing my mind, and pushing because she knows when I see her, I will take it out of her. I can’t not say how thankful I am to be able to.
So yes, I have a new sub (kind of). This one is already more bratty, and I am liking it more and more. She is Kitten, but different. I have to admit, I like the difference. I know there will be more fun and excitement with her as we go and work through it, and I know I still have the perfect submissive, for me. I can not tell you how amazing I feel! She, as always, gives me more strength and drive than I even remembered, and I am so insanely thankful.