I can’t just pull you in, as much as I want too. I can’t force you back into submission, it has never worked that way. You have to put your hand out, so I can take it in mine and we can go there together. Not a visit, not to look at old pictures of what we were, no to go past where we were together, building it beyond our loftiest dreams.
You are different now, more confident than you were. More wise, and more beautiful as a result. Neither of us are the same, we have both grown and changed, and that would only make it better. Because, we are still doing it next to each other. We are still growing and changing side by side, just not together.
It won’t be the same, that is what happens when people grow and change. It will be different, and better. This new versions of us, this enhancements in ourselves, will only make the trip together better. I have watched you grow beyond what you thought was possible, and i have marveled at your strength and brilliance the entire time.
Yet, through all of that, here we are. Standing across from each other. Apprehensive to take that step, to grab each others hand and walk together as Sir and Kitten, so we make small talk. Share our day, and wonder what if.
I still want to hurt you, leave my marks and tear you apart like I had before, but better. More intense, more passionate and more animal like. But, I want too put you back together after more too. I want to tend to every mark, physical and metaphorical, as you heal and grow stronger and better from it. I want you to feel safe and cared for, more than ever, as you recover and shine brighter.
Submission is not weakness, we all know that. Know, it is strength beyond strength. The strength I see in you know, is far more than it ever was, and I want to give you a place to let you take your armor off, and recover and be ready for when you need to put it back on and fight. I want to protect you, when you need to have a break from protecting yourself.
I know your initial reaction to this will be apprehension and even grumpy. You have been afraid to go all the way back, and I can’t blame you for that. I can only show you all of my cards, and let you judge yourself from what you have seen in me, really seen in me, not the vision of my older self. I don’t blame you for keeping that wall up, I just want to help tear it down when you are ready.
But you have to tell me, more than a hint or a quip. I need to know when you are ready, and not to dabble, but actually really for it all. I need you to take my hand. Until then, I will be right here. Standing tall, being supportive and caring, and being your person. Because you deserve that, no matter where we are.