I haven’t written for a while. Kitten used to tell me when I would get frustrated or miss her to write about it. It was a great motivation, back when she was my submissive and I was craving her. But, that’s not why I haven’t written, I still miss her and even crave her. I just have been lucky enough to have two outlets that have eased that.
First, Kitten herself. We aren’t a couple, we aren’t a dom and sub. We don’t even really talk about it. We don’t really talk about what we were as a couple, we just are. We are friends, we are confidants. We are each others support and we are each others “person”. I have accepted, and even embraced that. Because, I have learned, any day talking to her and sharing with her is better than any day before I met her, and surely on the days we didn’t talk.
I still love her, she knows that. I just tuck that away, and don’t let it eat at me like I used too. I feel I have been so much better about just being here for her, as she always has been for me. I feel like I understand so much more about our dynamic, and just letting today be the best day with her, versus wanting more.
Sure, there are many things that I would love to have with her, but I don’t worry about those things. It is weird, I am back to where I was when we first got together, in the mindset of enjoying her every day, and enjoying us everyday, even if that “us” is very different. I guess it really shows me how I always loved every part of her and her personality. I just appreciate her, and all the good she brings to me, and there is a lot of smiles and happy she brings that no one else could.
I have also found out I have to change careers officially due to my injury and started training for my new career. It is scary, I am scared of the unknown. I admit it, but it also super exciting and I have just been pushing to the goal of starting over. It isn’t easy, but nothing worth having is. That is a theme in my life apparently.
So, that is the update, maybe I will have some changes soon. Maybe not, but I am happy where I am at in life, and I haven’t said that in a long time. Never stop fighting for yourself, and never give up on yourself, that is the message I have beat into my own head.