Are You Ok?

She asked me that after she sent a song, Push by Matchbox 20, and asked if I thought it was about BDSM. That song triggered the algorithm in my phone of other songs that reminded me of having my Kitten in my hands. To hold her in may hands, to protect her, and to give her the pain I know she craved oh so much.

I was ok, I told her the truth. I allow myself to miss her, but not dwell about Kitten. That would shoot me back to a place where I can not allow myself to go just yet. But, does that mean that I can’t touch her, taste her, feel her in my mind? No, it is so easy to go back there, even with how much distance there is since she took her collar off.

It is hard between Kitten my submissive and girlfriend. I can only think of one at a time, because both meant so much. I often think if I would take one over the other, and the answer is yes. I would take Kitten the girlfriend first. Because all of her is my love, and Kitten lies therein. Even if I never got “all the Kitten”, again, that was ok, because I would have all of Kitten the girlfriend, and that was more than I could ever hope for.

I am ok, I miss my sub. But that pales in comparison to the woman I miss that was inside of her. I get a lot of her, even if it isn’t as a girlfriend. I am thankful for what I do get from her. Her friendship is such an amazing part of my life. Seeing the best in my situation is all I can do.


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