Have you ever just wanted to go home. Maybe it was a long business trip. Maybe it was a long road trip. But you eventually get to the point where you just want to go home. Home, for me, is more of a feeling than a place.
I have lived where I am at for over 13 years. It has never felt like “home”. When I go back to visit where I grew up, even with family it never feels like “home”. There is only one place that has felt like home to me, and it isn’t the state or city, it is a feeling that comes from Angel.
I remember long ago, when Angel was going through a hard time, she pulled away from me. Back then, we were Sir and Kitten. She was working alot, and had a bunch of other life stuff happening. She wanted to just focus, and admittedly, I was probably not in my best place as well. So, she kind of took her collar off, without removing it. I knew she needed to spread her wings a little, and feel that freedom and accomplish things under her own power. But, eventually, she asked to come home. Home to Sir, and home to us. I described it to her as watching her walk back up the driveway to “our house”, and it made me feel amazing to have her all the way home.
Now I want to come home. I know, I have changed alot. I know she and I are in a great place as friends, and even with a potential visit to look forward too. But, I want to come home to her I hope someday she will let me. I am not down, I am not miserable with myself like I was before. No, I feel really strong and great, and I think thats why now, more than ever, I want to come home to her. I can be the person I failed before, I have learned (mostly) from my mistakes. I can be the person, the man for her, she needs.
I am ready, I hope she see’s that in me, and throws her fears away enough to give me the chance. The chance to come home