Then, We Are Challenged..

I have made alot of strides about bettering myself over the last few months. Have I been perfect, no. But, I have been better and better and living my days to the best of my ability.

2 weeks ago, I was put under quarintine for Covid19 exposure. I had all the symptoms, tested negative and was told the tests were only 75% (now found to be 60%) reliable. I was also told that my clinical symptoms were enough to be held in quarintine.

I have made the best of it, I was concerned I would fall into a dark and dumb pattern like last year, but, I ended up going through it fine. Great, actually. I was enjoying the downtime, and I was a fortunate one whose symptoms never got worse than a cold and cough and a little chest tightness. The fever was low grade, and I was mostly just tired. I know I was lucky, and I kept holding on to that in my mind, I had nothing to complain about.

I also kept my job, and again I was lucky. I know how many people are in that scary place of furloughed and unemployment. Wondering how they will pay bills. So, again, I knew my situation was good, even being sick.

Also, Angel and I have been talking and chatting the whole time, just sharing our day in a ince and fun way. We talked about everything, food, cooking and such. It was nice to just share time with her and connect a little.

Overall, it has been good considering all the hardship I have seen all over the country and here. I have seen people get laid off, and ws told my job would be safe. I was told I was essential and welcome bcack after my 14 day covid vacation.

Then, today, I got informed that due to a modified work status with my knee (work injury) and the reduction in workload, I would be furloughed, and maybe be rehired at a later date.

Now, if you have read my past posts about my new General Manager, and the fact that I suspected they were trying to remove me and I never gave them cause to do so, you can see why this is a suspect move on their behalf. No other person in my position (to my knowledge and I checked around) was furloughed as well.

They had their “checkmate”, all of my work programs were already locked out, the phone call was very scripted, and I suspect that they will not opt to rehire me and finally have me out of the way.

I was angry, for a few moments. I had finally been recovering financially from last yers surgery and ther works comp screwing me up. I had finally started fixing myself, be happy with who I am, and starting to make moves for me, and now this. I wanted to lash out, and along came Angel, right to helping me problem solve.

As always, she brought a sense of calm and support and options. I calmed faster than I imagined, like in a few minutes. I know with all that is going on, I am still in a good place. It was amazing to feel the reaction be different. I know it sucks, and there will be issues here and there. But, I also know I will come out stronger and better on the other side. I also, had Angel, and that goes so much further than I can even say.

It is a challenge, and a test of how far I have become about beng a better me. How I have found with the help of Angel, the confidence and strength of being myself and facing challenges instead of pissing into the wind.

~S.L.

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