It is really hard not to be “Full Sir” or even “Kind of Sir” when Kitten is sick. Kitten has a sinus infection, nothing crazy. She told me it wasn’t so bad, so I know to add about 30% to how bad she says it is.
Kitten has a high pain tolerance, and doesn’t whine about sick or pain. I know when she tells me she doesn’t feel well, she is sick. When she says she is sick, she is VERY sick. It is one of the things I love about her.
She will tell me “I am telling you how sick I really am” when I try to baby her, but I have seen her with a full blown flu for 4 days kick some major ass, have some serious and amazing sex and try and not show how shitty she feels. She doesn’t roll over and give up, she is always a fighter.
Now, I want to take care of her more than ever. I want to make her tea, snacks and medicine and let her rest. I know she is taking care of herself, just fine. But I want to take care OF her. She always takes care of everyone around her, including me. She always had, and when I see her feeling even a little unwell, I want to jump in and take care of her.
So, when she told me she wasn’t feeling well, I had to fight every urge to go full “Sir”. I had to try and make suggestions, which is so hard. I have been working really hard at not saying “Sir” like things in our conversations, especially since she brought it up.
I always tried to take care of her, or help her when she asked or didn’t ask (sometimes too much). Now, that I am not “Sir” and she is sick, and I can not “Make” her do anything to rest (even though she is doing it all and then some), I want to do more for her.
It is a weird place to live, emotionally. Respect the distance, try and show I love and care and not be “him”.