Ever have one of those days where every task, even simple, seems hard. Or like every decision is a headache and for no real reason.
Not even in an angry or sad day. Just one of those “I don’t want to adult” days. Outside of some weird knee pain, it was a good day. A good week, actually. Angel and I talked alot more than I assumed. We had 98% good times talking. One little weird incident.
I actually called her a “good girl” after she told me she got off after not having a chance all week. I, not her, reacted to it because that one of thos phrases Sir used for Kitten. So I said sorry right away and got a little weird.
I got weird, because I have worked hard to stay away from that part of “us”. Angel even said “I let that anger and sadness go” but it wasn’t that, I just did t want to seem like I was pushing, as my track record of post break up pushi g wasn’t great, as I have highlighted. I would love to be able to dominate her again, but only if she were ready.
So we talked and I explained how I still over react to a safe conversation. And check myself. But I also know to be me. And I can just talk and if something comes up that isnt good, we would talk. I guess I needed that reminder. But we had a good solid talk, positive and upbeat and even made jokes after.
I know, even to today, how badly I would love to have her back. But, I also have learned to appreciate our friendship so much. There will be hiccups, but thats just life.
So, a great week, nothing crazy. But I judt don’t want to adult, I just want a cocktail and a quiet easy night. I have been over adulting lately, you know, like everyone else, lol.