Dreams are a funny thing. Both the literal ones, and the ones that are your hopes and wishes. Sometimes, they come together, and that can be, well alot to process.
Last night, I was having a hard time falling asleep. My brain was everywhere, mostly on Kitten. But, also on my future, plans, goals and everything else. I guess the downside to accepting the changes you need to make, is that your brain picks weird times to run away with them and plan all on its own.
I don’t even know how long I tossed and turned. I was exhausted all day, so the fact that I couldn’t shut it off was annoying me. Ever try falling alseep when your brain is awake? The sprinkle on top a little aggravation. mix with exhaustion and you really have a wonderfully aggravating concoction.
Well, my brain couldn’t stop there. I went into sleep mode and it decided it wasn’t done with me, it kind of said “Oh no, asshole, lets dangle some things into your subconcious so you don’t get to much rest” or something like that.
The first dream was early in the night, and it woke me in sweat and stress. In the dream, Kitten called me, and told me she was being held against her will somewhere. She was calm, but trying to talk in “code” and I couldn’t figure it out. I was baffled and angry and I was going all over trying to find her. She kept saying she was ok, but she wasn’t. I could hear it, but she couldn’t give me anything else. Like she was allowed to communicate by whoever was holding her, but not tell me anything.
This falls in line with the need I have always had to swoop in and want to “save” Kitten. It has been there from the beginning, since we met. Alot of things happened to her that were not good, and I couldn’t “save” her. I guess it just kept going in my head. I do, accept the possiblity that the hostage take was me, and that adds a whole different level of weird.
The next dream was simple, she and I were in a bedroom painting. The room had large windows, high ceilings, a fireplace and hardwood floors. Kitten and I were just talking and painting, but I kept getting paint on me and Kitten kept being silly and laughing about it. I was laughing too, and no matter how much I tried to not get paint on me, I did. It was funny and light and we were having a blast.
I assume this is going to stem from my want to still build with her. The color of the paint was a bluish grey, and it was a color we had discussed in the past painting our bedroom.
After that, my brain decided Kitten and I had to have sex, and alot of it. I haven’t been really into the sexual side of my brain lately, Naturally, it is always Kitten. That part may never change, honestly. Yes, she is that sexy and that good! lol.
In the dream I was in a hotel room, getting dressed. I have no idea why I was there, but I was. There was a knock on the door and I was startled, as I wasn’t expecting anyone.
I answered the door and Kitten was there, she had this look like she knew she wasn’t supposed to be, and bit her lip a little, almost embarassed. I stood in shock, I couldn’t speak. I just stepped aside and she walked in. I never said a word, I just walked to her and grabbed her and kissed her.
What followed was a massive amounts of loud and heavy sex. Screaming, sweaty good old fashion hard core amazing sex. I haven’t had a dream that good and vivid in a long time. She looked amazing, She was just in jeans, my sweatshirt and her hair was in a pony tail. It was the sexiest I could remember seeing her. I don’t think I need to explain where this dream comes from, if I do, sorry you should pay attention to the context, lol.
Lastly, and the mushy part of me showed up, I dreamt that I woke up and Kitten was lying next to me. I saw her shoulder and her hair and I knew it was her right away. I also think I knew I was dreaming, but I can’t explain how. I kissed her shoulder and wrapped around her. I felt her body against mine and nuzzled into her neck,right where it meets her shoulder. I just held her, not wanting to let go.
Yes, not wanting to let go, mushy, just being able to hold her. That aall makes sense why I dreamt it. I felt her too, like inside of my soul. I used to be able to “feel” her all the time, and then when I went “off” it stopped. It has been happening again more and more, and Kitten and I have talked about it. In my dream, I “felt” her, and it felt amazing.
I know all of these are 4 things I want with Kitten, I told her about the dreams this morning. I know they are just “dreams”, I also know that they are still “My dreams”, not only in my sleep, but in my heart.