Aftercare is not a job, it is an honor and my duty to Kitten~Sir!
As my Kitten and I were learning more and more about our amazing relationship and our Dom/Sub relationship, we knew we had to learn all we could. Well, Kitten knew that and I agreed when she told me. We knew we would surely venture into BDSM and erotic pain. During the research portion we learned about SubSpace, and Sub Drop.
The concept amazed me. First the idea that the combination of submissiveness, pleasure, pain and timing could cause a person to enter into the mental plane that is commonly known as subspace. I am not going to get into the science of this, as I know there are numerous conflicting documents about the facts of subspace and if it exists or not.
I can tell you this, I have seen Kitten go to a place in her mind where she is almost high or drunk during long and intense sessions. She has told me how she was almost “swimming” mentally, and I have watched for her to enter that state. Honestly, I have pushed for that state of mind for her, because the pure bliss she achieves is so hot to watch as her sir. You want to feel like the world’ most amazing lover and dominant? Push your submissive into subspace. Learn their patterns to achieve that blissfuls place where every sensation is magnified by a million. You truly are giving your sub the ultimate erotic bliss, and it makes me feel the same as the dominant controlling her ‘swim’
Now there is no doubt that Kitten can get there from many different paths. Over stimulation, pain, mental relaxation or a combination of the 3 are all paths for Kitten. I have learned that kittens crossing over starts when she is in a series of orgasms that are hitting over and over and I watch her face change and her sounds. She drifts, but doesn’t miss a touch or a strike of pain. She is more relaxed, her eyes lose focus. I know at that point that in her mind the world stopped and we are the only beings that exist in her mind.
I will not even be shy, I am hard typing about it. As a dominant, to have so much control over your sub, all the while making them feel amazing is the best and sexiest feeling ever. It is also her at her most vulnerable, and me being her only line of protection for the rest of the world. So, the part of me that must protect her at all times is fed on top of the sexual appetite. It gets so deep I have to tell Kitten what has happened after.
Then, when the session is over and we are both coming down, the drop can happen. What is a “drop”? Well, what goes up, must come down. In this case a submissives emotions. They are riding so high on their bodies natural juices when they are in space. Those “happy” chemicals your body produces flowing fast and that physical stimulation has to slow down, and then the drop hits.
I know from reading not everybody drops the same. There can be physical, mental and emotional adverse effects on your submissive. There can be issues of self worth, chills or sweats, crying, sadness, shame, fear of being alone and more. This, to me, is when I have to be the most loving and nurturing sir during our love making. It is also scary as hell the first few times. It becomes less scary over time, but the nerves and need to fix Kitten never goes away. I am like a hawk trying to attend to her every need, because she is mine. My property. I love her and I put her there, and I have to heal it. I have to put her back together. Tue aftercare is my honor and duty to her.
What causes the drop can vary, I am guessing. But for Kitten it is total and utter submissiveness for an extended period of time. Not the physical alone, if at all, but definitely the mental mindset of total submission. I know this because she has dropped when we weren’t physical. A few times much harder than I ever thought possible. It happened before I put my collar on her, and I thought I was ready, I wasn’t
Kitten’s first full drop will always linger in my brain, but not for negative reasons. It was the first time I felt like I was fully protecting her from the world and herself. It was the same night I put my collar on her. We were both new to the entire lifestyle. But we had our moment of committing ourselves to each other. Me taking her as my sub, and her giving herself to me as her Dom. Then, we got into the physical.
Toys, ropes, paddles, mental and physical submission, overstimulation, you name it and we experienced it that night. I was leaving my marks on her for the first time, and she was giving her body to me to do with as I pleased. It was beautiful, and then it was time to slow down.
I remember untying her, and laying her on the bed. Checking her body for the welts and marks and making sure there was nothing that needed first aid. Kitten kept saying she was cold, and did NOT want me to be out of arm’s reach. I remember I went to the bathroom, and when I came back she wrapped around me like I had left for weeks. She was almost crying and begging me not to leave her alone. She asked me several times, as I held her and brushed her hair with my hand, if she did good. She asked if I was happy with her. She asked me right away what she could have done better. Naturally, I told her we could discuss it later, but right now she needed to rest for me. I told her how much I loved her, how proud I was. I remember when her body chills turned to exhaustion and I was holding her and she was falling asleep, I looked at her and I felt all this love in my heart explode for her.
Here was my perfect submissive, crying a little, chills, exhausted, sore and gave me everything she could worrying about if I was happy with her. There are still no words to express how happy I was and still am with her. How proud I was that she pushed passed all over her known limits and thresholds, how she trusted me and loved me. Now, on top of all of that I get to watch over her while she rested and recovered. I had Icepacks, medicine, fluids, face clothes and everything ready to take care of her. But what made her whole, was me loving her with all that I am.
I can’t tell you how long I stayed awake that night and watch over her, I really can’t. It was a few hours, minimally, and it could have been weeks and I would have been just as happy to have done it. Since then, Kittens drops have lessened in severity. I still watch for them, and react the same. I still reassure her, tend to her, care for her and love her just as hard. In my mind, even a small drop is a drop. It doesn’t matter if it is tiny, or the biggest one ever. I pushed her to that drop, and I am the one who will carry her back from it. My first job, always, is to take care of her.
I know I mentioned that I had stuff ready for her drop, Kitten and I discussed a “drop” Kit to have on standby. I will discuss that kit in a future post. Does your sub drop? Maybe you are a sub who drops and can provide the readers other ways the drop hits you? Tell us in the comments below, Kitten and I would love to read it. Thank you for reading, please like and share.
I have experienced everything you have written here as well, sometimes there is some shaking involved in a drop for me as well. It can be a bit scary i would imagine if you are not aware of it so i thought i’d add this. 🙂
It can be pretty violent at times and i lose the ability to even form words. It comes in waves and can last 30 mins or more in total. The thing that seems to stop or slow the shaking is simply having Sir put his hand on me or his arms lightly around me. It can’t be too tight, not at first because the shaking can be so extreme but He gradually gets a tighter hold as it becomes more possible. His voice telling me to let go and let it happen also helps. 🙂
This is a wonderful piece!
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Thank you so very much. It is amazing to see and read about the varying degrees if the drop. The other thing that had happened is when a drop comes in a different want than usual and presents itself differently.
Thank you for sharing your experience, seeing and learning all of the different symptoms of a drop us so very help, as is the aftercare.
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Yes drop can come in many ways and in many situations. I wrote a piece about aftercare not being just for after play. There are so many avenues to explore and you just never know when chemicals or emotions will overwhelm.
Bear’s rule is simple, if i need Him He comes to me, it doesn’t need to ‘make sense’ it just is. 🙂 We can try and figure out the way, later! LoL
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