Stop Overthinking, Stupid

That is what happened. and no, Angel didn’t call me stupid. I did, and rightfully so. I was overthinking, making assumptions and it led to another mistake.

Angel read my last post about my heart hurting, and she was (rightfully so) angry. She was angry I assumed that she was using the time we did get as a weapon. She was angry I didn’t just ask her. She was angry that this was one of my problems over the last year, and it obviously wasn’t getting better. She was angry, I didn’t respect her enough to ask. I just assumed.

“We already hit rock bottom, where else could be go?” is what Angel said when I explained I was afraid to still discuss certain things because I didn’t want to make things worse. It is the exact opposite of what she wants and deserves. Bring “it” up, whatever “it” is, like I used too. Let’s talk it out and move on. It seems so much less complicated, because it is.

was trying to avoid “landmines”, I was trying to avoid making things worse. So, instead, I put her on blast on line, when she didn’t deserve it and she called me pissed (rightfully so) and explaied the last few days to me and why I was out of line. I was going to delete the post and just discuss it, but I think I need to go back and be able to see it when I start making stupid assumptions again.

It was an hour conversation, but it was summed up with the statement about rock bottom. I didn’t mean to have the post seem so angry or paint her in a light that was bad. But it did, I wrote it, I posted it and now I have to deal with it.

I really apprecaite her telling me she was pissed and why, the irony in that alone is not lost on me. I apprecaite that she was angry, and told me why so I can fix it and discuss. What a novel Idea. To actually discuss with the preson you respect the issue you see and resolve it. I feel like whenever I make so many good steps forward, I take a giant fucking leap back and erase so much that I have got better at.

So, Stop overthinking, Stupid. Just say it, move on. That is life.


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