She is mine! Always and forever-Sir
First, every dominant has an approach that is fitting to their situation. This is strictly my perspective and how I treat my Kitten. If you disagree or have your opinion, feel free to discuss.
As you travel through the pages of Tumblr and Fetlife looking for domination articles and materials, you have seen images of the word “slut” or “whore” or something like that. I had seen this one on Tumblr and it got me thinking about how I treat Kitten and the difference between dirty talk during our sessions and out right degrading your submissive.
For me, I do not thrive off of degrading Kitten in this method. While we have not even remotely discussed this approach, it does not seem fitting to our relationship, especially for me. That does NOT mean that we would not be open to it, as we have learned that we both enjoy things now we never thought we would, but I feel this level of degrading is counter productive to my responsibilities as her Sir.
My number one “Job”, sort of speak, is to protect and care for my Kitten. She has devoted her mind, body and soul to me and I have accepted with a promise to always care and protect all aspects of her life. Now, does that mean when she is tied up and I am fucking her and making her drip from her pussy that the word “slut” won’t leave my mouth? No, there is a lot of dirty talk we both love and enjoy in some situations.
“But, isn’t that alone degrading to her?”
In that moment and time, no it is not, in my opinion. I know that she enjoys it and she knows I enjoy it. It is an enhancer for our love making, which brings me back to my overall opinion of a Dominant and Submissive relationship, it is between the two people what is in bounds and what is not. It is part of the”contract” between the two. I know that are some submissive people who literally can cum at a single degrading sentence. I know that there are some dominants who will only cum while degrading their submissive. That is what makes this so free and amazing, as long as both parties are in agreement, then they set the rules.
For me, I don’t have the need to degrade Kitten. Along with my number one “job” it also isn’t fitting to our situation. You see, there are bratty submissive’s, there are defiant submissive’s, my Kitten is not any of those. My Kitten strives to be obedient and always meets my expectations. I, as her Sir do the same. To always make sure that I am meeting the expectations that come with the responsibility of being her Sir.
I actually feel that for us, the opposite of degrading is far more effective, I praise her every chance I get. I make sure she knows how she is a perfect submissive for me, and how I see here efforts everyday to please me. I try to never let an opportunity pass to praise her, because she deserves it and it gives her the strength of knowing I am pleased.
“Look in the mirror and see yourself as I see you”
I say these words to Kitten a lot when she is having a bad day or when she feels that she didn’t do something properly for me. She does take it hard when she feels like she made a mistake. She gets down on herself, and doesn’t always see the big picture. When I make a mistake as Sir, and I do, I react the same.
So, the first thing I always do is make sure she see’s how I love her and I am still beyond proud of her. I try and give her a chance to atone for her mistake, and understand that one mistake does not mean she is not a perfect submissive, because it does not.
“Don’t you discipline her?”
Yes, yes I do. But for Kitten, the discipline isn’t striving from the cane, or paddle or marks. That is the reward for us. I withhold certain things when discipline is needed, and that is worse than ANY physical discipline I could think of for Kitten, and it causes a deeper response. Does that mean the occasional reminder isn’t sent via a cane mark, or a nipple pinch? No. But usually those are when we are not making love and her tolerance for pain is lowered and can be more effective.
I know there will be other Dom’s who will read this and disagree with my approach. I am totally fine with that, as I think every relationship or “contract” is different. I think that is one of the best parts of our relationship, we get to live the life we love, and curtail to what makes us happy, Sir and My Perfect Kitten.
Tell me your thoughts below!