Wait, are we in a Submissive Relationship?

When I first met Kitten, I was amazed by her strength, confidence and outspokenness. I loved talking to her, and hearing her fierce approach to life. She wasn’t taking shit from anyone, and she wasn’t afraid to say it. She was bold, honest and unafraid. 

“Not exactly a submissive personality”

I wasn’t looking for a submissive when I met Kitten. She wasn’t looking for a Sir. Or so we thought. We were looking for happiness, and we found it in each other. We found calm, we found love and we discovered this beautiful relationship that neither of us expected. 

Sure, we both had certain personality traits prior to meeting each other. We know how those traits came to the surface here and there, but not like this. Neither one of us had found the person we trusted enough to be our true selves, and now we are never turning back. 

As I write this, Kitten is hard at work. She is working her Type A job, working hard, making hard decisions, not taking anyone’s shit and fighting through the day. No one there knows that through all of that fire and fury, she is my submissive. 

“How does a Type A like that lead a double life?”

The short answer in Kittens case, she has too. Everything in her life prior to me forced her to have this strength and fight. She was always Type A, based on what I have heard from before we were together, but it wasn’t always by choice. She had dealt with so much that she was forced some days to be that Type A, that leader, that driving force of strength and fury just to get through the day. She is the strongest person I had ever met, and that is still true to this day. 

What neither of us knew at first is that we both craved to be in this dominant and submissive relationship, but we only craved it with each other. We both didn’t realize we craved it as much as we did, until we were deep into it. I have the same Type A personality as Kitten. But for Kitten, she needed that person whom she could shed all of the fierce and be vulnerable with. Someone whom she could trust to watch and protect her, someone who would love every part of her and still hold her accountable. She needed that mental freedom, and I needed to take control. 

For me, I needed Kitten. Plain and simple. I had not even known it. I have had this personality my whole life. I have always pressed and taken charge, I was married before I met Kitten and it wore me down. The life and fire in my eyes was sucked out of me. I was struggling some days just to put my feet on the floor. I was weak and then, along came Kitten, I tell her all the time she saved me. 

“We were in deep before we knew it”

As I said, Kitten and I had shown signs of me being the dominant and her being the submissive, first in bed. I remember the first time that I saw “the look” on her face where I took charge and she submitted. It was peaceful, calm, raw and she never tried to fight it. As a matter of fact, it was the opposite, she needed it. I needed her to need it, and suddenly we hit a new level. 

We actually began talking about it outside the bedroom. Why we both loved it, how we both needed it, how we felt closer and closer every time. We were already in love, but this, this was different than any type of “love” we had experienced before. I was pushing her limits, I was making her mine, I was dominating Kitten, and she was loving it as much as I had, and we wanted more. 

“We need rules, or a list”

Kitten and I had never been in a dom/sub relationship. Now that we had talked about it, we had decided we needed more. We were so much closer and filled with so much love that we wanted to take our relationship as far as we could. Kitten, suggested we started doing research to learn, and so we did. 

We learned about rules, homework, daily tasks and other “typical” behaviors in a dom/sub relationship. I made the rules, she agreed to follow them. We pushed ourselves outside the bedroom, where I was in charge always, and discussed how we could do it in public and still be “us”. We loved “us”, and we love “us” more everyday. We formally committed ourselves to each other as Sir and Kitten in a private ceremony, still to this day the most sacred words I have ever said or heard, and a moment that changed our lives forever. 

Since then we have had so many “ups” and a few “downs”, like any relationship. We have been tested, time and again. We have both made mistakes. We have had life try and beat us down. Sometimes I am the strength and sometimes, it is my Kitten. It is like we both know when the other needs it, because even though she is my submissive, I know that I can lean on her for her strength and wisdom when I need it. She gives me the confidence to be her Sir, I would fight any fight with her by my side, she is my perfect little Submissive Kitten. 

Are you a Dom or a Sub. Tell me your story about how you first realized it. Kitten will be reading with me and we would love to hear it. 

Sir